This definitely lives up to its hype!
Why not pass the House’s bills to open the parts of the government they are asking to, then send them bills to open the rest? Since the House is soooo into government and its value, send them bills to open up other parts of the government until all parts are reopened.
The US House of Representatives passed a bill authorizing the following:
1. The Headstart program shall be completely funded starting Monday. Parents shall bring their own jumper cables.
2. All war memorials shall be opened, including the Covert War in Laos Memorial.
3. All couples seeking a marriage at a national park shall be married at that park. Limit: 2500 couples, 11 same-sex couples.
4. The US Government shall never get between a patient and their doctor, but all children with cancer shall immediately report their local NIH office to receive their mandatory, experimental cancer vaccine, and doses of unapproved cancer medications.
5. NOAA and FEMA shall be immediately opened to deal with Tropical Storm Karen in the Gulf of Mexico, but both agencies shall be immediately closed once the storm makes landfall.
6. Osama bin Laden’s body at the bottom of the ocean shall be dredged up, a Navy SEAL shall fire three shots into the body (two to the chest, one to the head) and then the body shall be dumped into the ocean once again.
7. The Fender Stratocaster is shall henceforth be the official guitar of the Congress. All Gibson Les Paul guitars in the Capitol building shall be donated to the White House.
8. All traffic lights shall be allowed to turn green, after having been red, once they have shown a yellow light for three to seven seconds.
9. All mentally disturbed Americans shall be issued a .40 S&W GLOCK 23 pistol and a 100-round box of ammunition. But only upon surrender of their 5.56 NATO/.223 Bushmaster Carbon-15 assault rifle.
10. We are not Greece, but we may just be the Middle East now, huh?
11. You know that one-year old baby in the car, the one in which the Capitol Police shot and killed the mother, anyone wanna adopt this kid?
12. UNPAID INTERNS WANTED! Send resumes to The Office of The Speaker, H-232 The Capitol, Washington, DC 20515.
Speaker John Boehner just said in a press conference:
“The American people don’t want their government shutdown and neither do I. All we’re asking for is to sit down and have a discussion and to bring fairness, reopen the government, and bring fairness to the American people under Obamacare. It’s as simple as that. But it all has to begin with a simple discussion.”
Sounds like what Obama and the Democrats are saying as well, no? First, open the government, then second, sit down and debate Obamacare (or anything else) that Republicans (or anyone else) wants to debate.
You can further take apart what Boenher said in pointing out that this is far from the beginning and that Obamacare has been discussed and debated for year and years. Obamacare, aka the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, has been law since March 2010. The deadline for discussion and passage of the Continuing Resolution to fund the government was midnight September 30th. All discussions about that C.R. needed to conclude before then, and not “begin” after.
Did the Capitol Police just kill a sick woman who was driving erratically?
Sir & Master Cruz,
So kids with cancer are more important than veterans? Or park rangers? Or NSA workers? I thought the WWII vets at the monument were most important? I think maybe Headstart should be funded before the NIH as those cancer kids are gonna die anyway so why waste money on them? Better to spend our precious tax dollars on kids who are thriving and might actually do something useful with their lives, right? That’s more efficient and gets the taxpayer more ROI. But then again one of those NSA analysts might be on the verge of stopping the next 9/11, so maybe bring that department back online and to hell with ALL the kids and veterans and park rangers and astronauts and food inspectors. No wait, I’m kind of a foodie, so I want my organic kale certified and I sure don’t want E. coli in my spinach. So bring them back and keep everyone else home.
HELP TED HELP!!! txt me asap! and use the Blackberry, not your new iPhone 5c, ok? the bb is more secure. ;)
It should be noted that the Tea Party is not an actual political party. It is officially recognized by Congress as a caucus (i.e., a congressional member organization) with the word party in its name. A member of Congress, a Congressman or a Senator, cannot be a member of two political parties simultaneously. You cannot be a both a Democrat and a Republican in Congress, or a Green Party member and a Republican Party member, or any combination of two or more party memberships.
The word party in Tea Party Caucus is merely a reference to the Boston Tea Party of 1773, which was also not a political party.
Everyone, including the press and politicians, should refer to the Tea Party Caucus as the Tea Party Caucus, as just saying The Tea Party implies a status not conferred to it.
teaparty.org describes itself as a “grassroots movement” and often refers to itself as “The Tea Party Movement”. The site does say that “…when you join the Tea Party …” implying they are an actual political party and then imply that donating money to them gives you that membership. But if do give them money all you’re really doing is giving a movement money and not joining a political party or declaring a party affiliation.
Only a Congressman or Senator can be a member of the Tea Party Caucus.
If someone tells you they are a “member of the Tea Party” remind them that it’s not an actual political party and all they really are is affiliated with the Tea Party Movement.